Heartbreak Ranch Read online

  She shifted positions in the tub to ease her aching posterior. Her relationship with Jed was a little more complicated, but surely with both of them working at it, they could return to their old familiar footing. She looked forward to the time when they could once again be in the same room without that tension simmering and sparking between them. A shiver ran down her wet spine, and she sank lower in the water. The unexpected awareness between the two of them was the only thing that marred the days. But even with it, she was more content than she’d been in years.

  Certainly life with Andrew hadn’t fostered a similar sense of security. Even at the beginning, when their love had seemed fresh and strong, she had worried about his happiness, his reactions to life’s disappointments.

  Lazily, she reached out with her toe and pushed up the lever, allowing some water to drain. Seconds later she pushed it down again and, with the same surefooted dexterity, turned on more hot water. When the bathwater was returned to a steaming temperature, she settled back again to soak.

  “Might be someone else in the house who will need some hot water tonight,” a voice called through the bathroom door. “You’d best be leaving some.”

  Julianne smiled without opening her eyes. “I will, Annie.”

  “You’ve got a phone call. You want to return it when you’re done in another few hours?”

  Her smile grew wider. “Just bring it in here, will you?”

  Annie pushed open the door and walked in the room, clucking her tongue and muttering dire warnings when Julianne dried off one hand and took the phone from her.

  “You wouldn’t want me to waste this hot water, would you?”

  The housekeeper shook her head reprovingly. “I heard tell once about a woman in Butte who dropped the phone in a bath full of water and electrocuted herself. Took a week for someone to find her.”

  “I’ll bet her bath was cold by then.”

  “You just keep smartin’ off, girl. Someday maybe you’ll learn to listen to your elders.” With that pronouncement Annie turned and exited the room. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The words trailed in her wake.

  “I could never say that,” Julianne murmured in amusement. She brought the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

  “Julianne. Darling.”

  For an instant it felt as if every organ in her system failed. Breathing stopped, veins clogged. And then, as comprehension registered, they resumed their functions with a violent rush that left her weak.

  “Andrew.” She sat up straight in the water, which only a minute ago had been the temperature of a Jacuzzi. Now it seemed as icy as a snow-fed stream. She moistened her lips, strove to keep her voice steady. “Why are you calling me?”

  “I’ve missed you, darling.”

  Oh, God, she could almost picture his face as he formed the words. The too-sensitive mouth with its determined quiver, that little-boy vulnerability that could be so tempting to nurture. So destructive to live with.

  “We don’t have anything to say to each other.”

  “Don’t be like that, sweetheart.” There was just enough shake in his voice to make the demand sound persuasive.

  “Surely you’ll want to know when the trial is starting. Don’t you care enough to wonder whether my release on bail is going to be my last taste of freedom for the next decade?”

  An unnatural calm settled over her then. In the months since she’d left him, the reasons had never seemed clearer than they were right now. “You made your choices, Andrew. I made mine. We both have to live with them.”

  She heard the faint rattle of ice against crystal and knew intuitively that he was drinking. She closed her eyes for an instant as pain twisted through her. It had taken her too many years to realize that the only kind of strength Andrew had was what he could draw from her or from the bottle. Even before she’d moved out, before the scandal, she’d had the sensation of drowning in her ex-husband’s excesses.

  “You’re the one who always seemed to know what was right, Julianne. You had all the answers.”

  If only that had been true, she thought, she wouldn’t be having this conversation. “Hardly.”

  There was a long pause, and when he spoke again, his voice was slightly steadier. “I didn’t call to argue. I need your help, darling. I know I can count on you. You were always there for me.”

  Bitterness welled, from a pocket buried so deeply she was surprised at its explosive appearance. “Would that have been when you tried to crawl into the bottle to solve your problems, Andrew? Or when you’d disappear for weeks at a time and come home a few hundred thousand dollars poorer? Maybe you’re thinking of those other women you were with, or perhaps it’s all been a hallucination caused by the current drug of choice.”

  “I know I’ve disappointed you. I’ve disappointed myself.” His voice held a fine tremble. “But I’ve hit rock bottom here. My lawyers say there’s no way I can avoid jail time unless I give up the name of the man I was running the drugs for.”

  “So do it,” she said flatly. “For once in your life, do the right thing.”

  She heard his breath hitch over the line. “I can’t, he’s too powerful. He’ll kill me. I owe him money, and he’s not going to stop until he gets it. Please, you’ve got to help me. I have to pay him off so he’ll leave me alone. I won’t even be safe in prison.”

  “I don’t have any money.” She was suddenly, fiercely glad that it was true. “Every liquid asset of ours you either lost or is tied up. I couldn’t help you if I wanted to. And I don’t.”

  “I was desperate after you left me, don’t you see? I never would have gotten in so deep if I had been thinking clearly. Your leaving drove me over the edge.” In the silence that followed, the only noise was the quiet crackling of the bath bubbles popping.

  “I’m not going to let you lay this on me, Andrew.” The process of getting air to her lungs had never seemed more difficult. “For once, just admit you made the wrong choice. No one forced you, no one is responsible but you.” How familiar this conversation seemed, she thought wildly. Like an unwelcome episode of déjà vu. So many scenes had played out just like this one. Andrew pleading, her demanding that he take responsibility. And this awful sense of guilt for not being able to be strong enough for both of them.

  “I miss you, Julianne. You know how much I love you.”

  “Don’t say that!” Water splashed dangerously close to the edge of the tub as she stood up and snatched at the towel nearby. “Don’t ever say that. My mistake at one time was in thinking that your sick need for me constituted love. It never did. I was your crutch, but that’s over. I don’t have any money, and I can’t help you get out of this mess you’ve made.”

  “You have the ranch.”

  For a moment the room seemed to circle and spin, before his next words righted it, and set the final spark to her temper.

  “Call your father. He promised the ranch to you. All you have to do is have him sign over the papers. I’m not asking you to sell the whole thing, but there’s so much land, Julianne.” The words didn’t quite manage to avoid a whine. “All I need is five hundred thousand. The ranch must be worth millions. I’m just asking for a piece of it.”

  At that instant, her head had never been clearer, her resolve stronger. “Never. I’m not surprised you’d ask, Andrew. But I am surprised if you thought it would work. Don’t call me again.”

  She cut his protest short with one touch of her finger. With more care than the acts required, she put the phone down and used the towel to dry off. She caught her reflection in the glass. Her face was pale, set. For just a moment it reminded her of other times over the past few years, other reflections: After she’d spent the day finding and pouring all the liquor stashed in the house down the drain, only to have Andrew stagger in after an afternoon at one of his clubs. Or when she’d accompanied him to Gamblers Anonymous meetings for a month, and then discovered that he’d taken off again, this time for Atlantic City.

  She slipped her robe on and wal
ked into her bedroom. And then, of course, there was that final time when she’d followed him to their place in Key West, hoping to keep him from the booze and the high stakes card games. Instead she’d found him entertaining a redhead in their bed.

  Life with Andrew, she reflected, had been no life at all. She’d had little opportunity to do more than react to his choices. It had taken her too many years to recognize the vicious circle that she’d been drawn into, the cycle of abetting and enabling his weaknesses. She wondered how long it would take for her to stop feeling as though walking away from him constituted a personal failure.

  She crossed to the dresser and took out underwear. She was just slipping on a fresh pair of jeans when the phone she’d left in the other room rang. She started for an instant, and then ignored it. No doubt it was for Jed. Annie often took messages for him, which he returned after supper when he went to his den.

  She stood in front of her closet, tapping a finger against her lips. The large space was filled to overflowing, making it difficult to find anything easily. She resolved to spend some time the next day hauling some of her clothes to a closet in one of the extra bedrooms.

  Making a decision, she took a pale yellow short-sleeved silk blouse from its hanger and put it on. She was buttoning it when Annie knocked at her bedroom door.

  “Phone’s for you again, Julianne.”

  Her gaze flew to the door, her body going still. It was a long moment before she found her voice. “Tell him…I can’t come to the phone.” Her words were greeted with silence. Annie had returned downstairs.

  Immediately castigating herself for her cowardice, Julianne strode into the bathroom, picked up the phone and turned it on. “I don’t want you calling me again. I gave you my answer and it was final.”

  There was a long silence, and then a familiar voice drawled, “I hadn’t expected a rousing rendition of ‘Auld Lang Syne,’ but I think you can do better than that.”

  Relief and delight rushed through her. “Shelby! Oh, it’s great to hear from you. Tell me that you’re at your dad’s place.”

  “We just got in this morning. J.T. has been a tyrant. The plane ride wore him out, poor little thing.”

  “How long are you staying?”

  “A week.” Julianne could picture the other woman as she answered, pacing through the house. Shelby could serve as evidence for the theory of perpetual motion.

  “We’re having supper with Dad tonight, but he mentioned wanting to invite a few neighbors over for a get-together tomorrow evening. We can catch up then, and make plans for the rest of my stay.”

  “Sounds great.”

  “Invite Annie and Jed, will you? And don’t let Annie bring too much. Tell her she doesn’t have to worry about the food. I’ve actually become pretty domesticated over the last few years.”

  “Now, that’s hard to believe,” Julianne teased.

  “Believe. I didn’t mind endless suppers of Ramin noodles for myself, but Steve requires a bit more nourishment. I take pity on the man occasionally and provide him with a real meal.”

  It was nice that some things didn’t change, Julianne reflected after hanging up the phone. Catching up with Shelby had taken the better part of a half hour, and only the interruption of J.T.’s howling had cut their chat short. It didn’t matter how much time passed between their talks or visits. Their friendship remained constant.

  She hadn’t admitted how shaken she’d been by Andrew’s call until she realized how much the conversation with Shelby had soothed her. She’d found peace here, finally. That wasn’t going to change. She wouldn’t let it.

  Annie’s brows rose when Julianne entered the kitchen a couple of minutes after six.

  “Fall asleep in the bathtub? You know what time we eat around here.”

  Circling the table, she snatched a piece of still-warm homemade bread off Jed’s plate and barely dodged the fork he stabbed in her direction. She took a bite and closed her eyes in ecstasy. “Oh, God, Annie, this is so great.” She slipped into her chair and countered Jed’s glower with a smug grin. “Way too much butter on this, though, big guy. You better start watching your cholesterol. Can’t have those arteries hardening up on you.”

  He reached for another piece of bread and took great pleasure in smothering it in even more butter than he’d put on the one she’d swiped. Taking a deliberate bite, he chewed, swallowed and said, “I’m not worried. But I suppose you have to watch those calories pretty close. What with your weight problem, and all.”

  Her eyes narrowed and he settled in to enjoy his meal.

  “What weight problem?”

  The fact that Julianne’s figure had always bordered on the slender didn’t enter into the situation. The verbal warfare was reminiscent of times past and helped mask the uncomfortable awareness of her that he couldn’t seem to shake. He helped himself to two thick slices of roast beef, then passed her the plate. When she didn’t immediately take it, he set it down beside her. Going to work cutting his meat, he lied, “Well, I overheard Gabe say the mare you’ve been riding has been coming back each day exhausted. Seems she’s getting a little swaybacked, too. He thinks she’s been carrying too heavy a load.” He laid down his silverware and winked at Annie as he took the bowl of mashed potatoes she was passing to him. “So I reckon Annie will understand if you don’t want a helping of these.”

  Julianne was toying with the knife next to her plate, looking as if she was contemplating throwing it. “Gabe never said that. Big liar. And I’ve never had to watch my weight a day in my life.”

  “For goodness’ sake, Jed, quit ribbing the girl. She’s no bigger than a minute. If she ate any less she’d blow away.”

  “Or roll,” he murmured, just loud enough to be audible. Deliberately, he set the bowl just out of her reach.

  “I seem to recall that Jed’s taste in women ran more toward the meaty.” Julianne got out of her chair and rounded the table, picking up the bowl of potatoes with one hand and deliberately jostling him with her elbow. He barely managed to right the glass of milk he was reaching for before he spilled its contents across the table.

  Smirking, she slipped back into her chair and dished up a huge helping of mashed potatoes that she couldn’t possibly eat in three sittings. “Remember Amanda Lassiter, Jed’s lady love in high school?”

  “Amanda,” he said, while pouring generous amounts of gravy over his meat and potatoes, “was a gal with many hidden charms.”

  “Hidden, my eye,” Julianne snorted. “With those low-cut tops, she had no secrets. And her jeans were so tight you could read the number of her MasterCard in her back pocket.”

  He grinned. Her description was on the money, as usual. He hadn’t thought of Amanda Lassiter in years. Despite Julianne’s opinion, his taste had grown more subtle since his high school days.

  “Honestly.” Annie got up from the table and fetched another carton of milk. “Listening to the two of you, a person would think you were a couple of kids, the way you squabble. And the gal Jed’s dating now is a real nice woman. She’s new to town. Carrie Fredericks is her name. Does the prettiest cross-stitch you’ve ever seen, too. Took a blue ribbon at the county fair last summer.” Her eyes twinkled as she sedately went about her meal. “So apparently he’s learned something since high school.”

  If he hadn’t been looking at Julianne, he might have missed her reaction to Annie’s words. Shock, certainly, followed by a fascinating flicker in her eyes, one that vanished when she caught him looking at her.

  “Well, they say it’s never to late to acquire taste,” she drawled, her voice dripping with doubt.

  “Thought maybe you might have made a date yourself,” Annie said to Julianne, her voice teasing. “Who was that man who called earlier?”

  Taking an inordinate amount of interest in her food, Julianne concentrated on cutting her meat into tiny pieces. “It was only Andrew. But the second call was from Shelby. Did you know she was home? She’ll be at her dad’s the rest of the week. Wanted to hav
e a get-together tomorrow night for some of the neighbors. You and Jed are invited.”

  She chattered on to Annie, the conversation centering on what food to take, and Shelby’s son, J.T., whose crying had brought the reunion to a quick close. Their words didn’t register. Jed had stopped listening after she’d answered Annie’s first question.

  “What’d he want?”

  Julianne looked at him with guileless brown eyes. “J.T.? His dinner probably. Shelby says he’s growing like a weed and eats all the time. I can’t wait to see him.”

  His mouth tightened, and his voice went low and smooth, revealing none of the dangerous emotion trapped inside. “Andrew. What’d he want?”

  Reaching for her glass, she took a drink before answering. “He wanted help.”

  The defiance in her tone was reflected on her face. It lit the fuse of his temper as surely as a gasoline-soaked match. “You’re not giving him any.”

  Julianne’s fork dropped to her plate. All semblance of eating was discarded. “I don’t take orders from you, cowboy.”

  Annie’s gaze went from Jed to Julianne and back again. “Now, Jed. This is Julianne’s business. You mind to your own and so will she.”

  He gave a tight grin at the obvious untruth. “That would be the day. And I meant what I said. You’re not helping your rich ex-husband out of this jam of his.”

  She brought her napkin to her mouth and wiped her lips. “Ex-rich, actually. It appears he’s a little short of cash.”

  “It’s not too hard to figure how he thought you could get your hands on some. The only time he was here all he could talk about was the value of this place.” She remained silent, and his gaze narrowed. “Is that it? He actually suggested you get the money from the ranch?”

  “Can I interest anyone in pie?”

  Annie’s words went unanswered. Jed’s gaze was fixed on Julianne, and he saw he’d guessed accurately. He rose.

  “We’ll discuss this in the study.” He half expected to get a fight from her, but her gaze flicked to the housekeeper, and then she stood.